I am puke
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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