Me too!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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