so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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