I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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