im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
