Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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