The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize