you guys were way drunker than both of me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
