Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
