shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Duck Duck Cougar?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The power of my boobs compel you
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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