GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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