Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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