I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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