I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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