the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
