Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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