Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
