also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Say something about gay babies.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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