We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
