gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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