I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I need to stop coming to work sober
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
