Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just had sex on a roof
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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