Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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