and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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