No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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