the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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