let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
