I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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