i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My penis needs a shock collar
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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