Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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