She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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