I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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