u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
