Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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