And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
