Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
