I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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