the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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