jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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