Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize