can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
