i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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