also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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