Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
