Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.

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(813): hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton. http://tfl.nu/u4qg

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you

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(218): You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you http://tfl.nu/pqp2

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(541): View more from Oregon

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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(541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap

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(949): View more from California

Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up

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(949): Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up http://tfl.nu/ti5i

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(415): View more from California

He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.

(650): View more from California

.......................................

(415): View more from California

My thoughts exactly.

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(415): He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic. (650): ....................................... (415): My thoughts exactly. http://tfl.nu/05rl

Replies (6) Good night (887) Bad night (2862)
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(631): View more from New York

judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.

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(631): judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way. http://tfl.nu/a0to

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(503): View more from Oregon

So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?

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(503): So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it? http://tfl.nu/4plu

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(214): View more from Texas

Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.

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(214): Why does it always end up with me crying in my car. http://tfl.nu/bhj2

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(914): View more from New York

Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down

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(914): Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down http://tfl.nu/b2xq

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(561): View more from Florida

u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring

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(561): u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring http://tfl.nu/ljb6

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(276): View more from Virginia

your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.

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(276): your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/ity0

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this

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(413): I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this http://tfl.nu/znqy

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(616): View more from Michigan

She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday

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(616): She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday http://tfl.nu/c1kw

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(817): View more from Texas

Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.

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(817): Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount. http://tfl.nu/oq9w

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(574): View more from Indiana

Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.

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(574): Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time. http://tfl.nu/00ef

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