Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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