i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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