maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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