And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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