last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
