After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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