I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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