I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
