HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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