You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
