awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
