No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
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can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
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I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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