after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
